Overheard in the A train

10:30 PM
They're putting everyone in the stands now. Anyone can be in the stands. This shorty next to me today was getting mad voids. I'm telling you, mad voids. And I swear on my mother, vendors can't get cashier shifts. Cashiers can get our shifts, but we can't get a cashier shift. I swear on my mother. Now when you call out, they don't just put a cross on your sheet, it's all too much paperwork. Lydia can't keep track anymore. She can't keep track. Now it's all verbal warnings. All verbal. I shoulda been gone a long time ago.

Things I will work on in February

Not offend people. On this blog or elsewhere. This is specifically meant for one person. Who I offended on this blog. And in real life. Sorry.
Do groceries and buy vegetables.
A retrospective. Of things I once wanted to do, but might never complete.
Being friendly to people while waiting in line. When I'm doing groceries for instance.
Count to ten when I want to hit my sister with my fist on her leg.
Wearing appropriate outfits, for the weather, circumstances, etc.
Use my planner, rather than virtual post-its on my computer I often accidentally delete.
Exercise.
Save receipts.
Wake up early. Sort of.

Conversation topics pairings

Proper etiquette concerning mothers in law. Walks in the mountains. Having a crush at work. Critical parents. Two bottles of Greek wine. (Or was it a Greek grape?)
Pet problems, old and new. A friend had once been forced to give up her bunny, but when they drove to the farm and she had to push it through a tube, without being able to see where it would end up, they ended up driving home. With the bunny. Her parents had recently been forced to take care of her sister's chihuahua. Her dad refused to walk it with a diamond collar. Also, the qualities of Beyonce, and baby plans. 3 bottles of prosecco. 2 Scroppinos. 6 bottles of white wine.
Girls who wear 'statement shirts,' and behave contrary, getting old, and our sixteen year old selves. Tiny regrets and volumizing shampoo. 1 bloody mary. 2 beers.

Things I bring up at dinner parties

The fact that my parents disagree over how to hang the toilet paper. (The loose end in front or back)
The things a boxer says in my roommate's documentary. Examples: Team G(reatest) let's go, straight to the top. You smell that? That's some greatness in the oven. If you believe you can achieve.
That I made English spinach pastries, because I missed having them for breakfast everyday.
Things I do instead of writing. Like looking for sweater vests on Ebay. Even though I don't remember wanting one. Or buying some nice wrapping paper. In case I want to wrap something for someone someday.
How awkward it is when you still have a full plate at a dinner party, while everyone else is finished. (True story)

Thanksgiving dinner

Ingredients
The obvious: Turkey, mashed potatoes, beans, pies, brussel sprouts.
Not so obvious: The questions 'if you would have a threesome would you prefer two males or two females?' and 'if you would have to kill your best friend, would you tell him and ask for forgiveness or do it quietly in his sleep?', also lots of comparisons between weed, cigarettes and alcohol and which is worse, and some politics, which I can't quite recall.
Games: Mafia. The person in charge of guiding this game took it very seriously, which contributed to the appropriate tense atmosphere. He yelled at us a couple of times because we were too loud. Also charades. One of the assignments was the film: 'Everything you have ever wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask.'
Obstacles: One of our neighbors knocked on our door because the elevator was broken. A fight almost broke out between him and one of our slightly intoxicated guests. His girlfriend calmed him down and gave him some water. Nothing like a little drama at a dinner party.

In Between Phase

My sister hates nothing more than what she calls an 'In Between Phase.' An in between phase entails people hanging out without a real purpose. Before going to see a movie for instance, or after having gone someplace and not yet willing to go home. People gathering somewhere and just 'waiting.' Without even a drink, or having an important conversation that makes the event somehow meaningful. People hanging out in a bar, or at a party is different. That's an event, an act, something to write down in your calendar.
These past weeks have felt like a continuous in between phase.

Book titles

Of books I will never write:

Everyone's Gay - A story full of disappointments
Today I did nothing - A short novel in three parts
The Blank Page - A horror story
A Girl and a Couple - A collection of essays on being alone
I will bake my own bread - A book of unfulfilled desires
I read War and Peace and other lies - Blushing Girl Tales
My Life Is a Sitcom - A more tragic than comic tragicomedy