Friday, July 9, 2010

Crying on a train


Yesterday I was talking to someone on the phone while I was in the train.
I don't think I was talking unusually loud, or having some obnoxious conversation about uncomfortable subjects, yet after a minute or so, not longer, every single person around me started screaming at me. Well no. One person started thumping on my chair from behind, a lady leaned forward to give me a devilish look and a man grabbed his head and started pulling out his hair. He was bright red. I hung up quickly and asked the man if it was always like this, hoping for an ally in this mess. He said yes, without looking up from his newspaper. He had been paying his bills for most of the trip which I had actually found a little distracting and exhibitionist. A woman across the aisle said I was rude. Some other man from behind me said he didn't want to hear whatever it was I had to say. It was like a fight without being able to argue back. I hadn't been the target of so much aggression since I broke up with my boyfriend and at least we had been in love first. I cried. It was embarrassing. The man sitting across from me, who had tried to lend a supportive hand by smiling consolingly, asked me if I was alright. I couldn't answer. He said: Be strong. It won't always be like this.
He was right. I woke up this morning and forgot why I had felt so awful.

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